Making Me Better by Jess: November 2013

Lindsay and I worked out for over an hour today. Treadmill, arms, squats, planks and all sorts of fun "stuff" tonight! I had some frustrations to work out. (Coupled with not eating well for the past few days and then today's 'stuff'...... ugh.....)

Today was just overwhelming with a few things at work and then a few emails I received about grad school.... I keep trying to remind myself to take things in stride and just breathe.

Just breathe...................

Sunday, November 17, 2013

100 Favorite workout songs (Don't judge me....lol)

Here's a list of my favorite workout songs! Most are high pumping jams, and others are for personal reasons that make me train harder.
Feel free to add in yours.
Keep that body pumping!

1.) Wobble

2.) Top of the World

3.) When I Grow Up

4.) Love More

5.) Applause

6.) Slow Down

7.) Home

8.) Take Me Out

9.) My Songs Know What You Did

10.) Midnight City

11.) Better Dig Two

12.) Good Girl

13.) Blurred Lines

14.) Cowboy Casanova

15.) Here for the Party

16.) Dirt Road Anthem

17.) Mama's Broken Heart

18.) Tornado

19.) Levels

20.) Harlem Shake

21.) Feel So Close

22.)Where Them Girls At?

23.) Crank It Up

24.) Who's That Chick?

25.) Sweat

26.) Ghosts N Stuff

27.) I Love It

28.) Maximal Crazy

29.) Club Love

30.) Promises

31.) Cyclone

32.) Dance

33.) Pump It

34.) I Like That

35.) Work Out

36.) Dirt Off Your Shoulder

37.) How Low

38.) Can't Hold Us

39.) Gossip Folks

40.) Pound the Alarm

41.) Backseat

42.) Booty Wurk

43.) I Know You Want Me

44.) Bring It Back

45.) Jiggle It

46.) Get Me Bodied (extended)

47.) Naughty Girl

48.) Rock That Body

49.) Till The World Ends (remix)

50.) Toxic

51.) Dirrty

52.) Bass Down Low

53.) In The Dark

54.) Booty Bounce

55.) Fergalicious

56.) Good Feeling

57.) Whatcha Say

58.) Shake

59.) As Long As You Love Me

60.) SexyBack

61.) What Goes Around Comes Around

62.) Hello

63.) Blow

64.) Crazy Kids

65.) Shawty Get Loose

66.) Shots

67.) Feeling Good

68.) Cooler Than Me

69.) Remix (I Like The)

70.) Move Ya Body

71.) Rude Boy

72.) Diamonds

73.) Disturbia

74.) Right Now

75.) We Found Love

76.) Glad You Came

77.) Whip My Hair

78.) Stop Sign

79.) Work

80.) Down On Me

81.) Pretty Girl Rock

82.) Get It Shawty

83.) 4AM

84.) Bottoms Up

85.) Say Aah

86.) My Way

87.) Hot Tottie

88.) More

89.) Yeah!

90.) Get Busy

91.) Rompe

92.) I Will Not Bow

93.) Take It Off

94.) My Own Worst Enemy

95.) Diary of Jane

96.) Before I Forget

97.) Diamonds and Guns

98.) B.Y.O.B.

99.) Heartbeats

100.) Jai Ho

And there are more on my iPod that I listen to when I work out and I am always adding more.... lol!

Some nice reminders....

Some amazing quotes

to remember for

any situation...

I refuse to give up on myself!

Saturday, November 16, 2013

Start of my journey

It's been said that journaling is an important part of weight loss. So, I'm here to begin my journey.

Here's my back story:

I am currently juggling my job as a full time teacher, a graduate student who is set to receive my Masters in May 2014, an internship, curriculum writing for the county, my personal life and a divorce. Yes, at 29, I've been married and divorced.

My struggle with my weight began around late elementary school. I just wanted to eat for every reason. I ate because I was bored, sad, happy, depressed, whatever. One major problem I have is that I never know when I'm hungry.... or full. My self esteem plummeted. Friends around me were always in relationships and I feel like I couldn't ever get a guy to look my way. My first boyfriend was when I was in college. My first kiss? Around my late teens.

My emotional side took a tumble. And I think my weight had a lot to do with it. I have always had high self confidence; confident in my abilities, but I don't have high self esteem. I tend to look at myself and wonder if anyone wants me..... all of me... fat and all.

Then I met my soon-to-be-husband-then-ex-husband. I will not bash him. I do not hate him. I just hate what happened to me. If we had both had been honest (him with how he felt and me trusting my gut), we wouldn't have ended up in the situation we were in. Just before I met him, I was the thinnest I had been. I was happy where I was, almost down to single sized pants. Then I ballooned. Within the 7 years we were together, I gained 70 pounds. 10 pounds per year we were together. Depression, boredom and guilt gripped my life, and I tried to work, eat and sleep it away.

After he left, I was left stripped naked of my emotions. And surprisingly admitting it now, I needed it. I have depended on someone to "love me" so much that I had forgotten who I was, why I was me, what made me me and how to love me. I am still relearning me, although I have made incredible leaps and bounds through my journey. I still have my insecure moments, don't get me wrong, but I am becoming better in me again. However, I am still trying to work through the emotional side. Sometimes I feel like I should tattoo 'naive moron' on my forehead when it comes to guys. I become blinded by someone "wanting me". I guess in all the years in not having someone want me, when a guy throws attention my way, I fall for it; hook, line and sinker.

So, I have decided to take control of me.

I am changing what I can and the first step is getting back in shape.

I joined Gold's Gym in Westminster a couple months ago and have had great success. I meet with my awesome trainer Steve every week to do some intense muscle building workouts. I have already seen progress. My pants are loose, I've lost 12 pounds and have already dropped percentage of body fat. My muscles are sore the next few days but I am happy. I've changed my eating habits. I actually haven't even had a taste for those types of foods any more. Fast food? Nope! Soda? Nope! I've increased my water intake, salad intake and healthier foods intake. I've been learning to listen to my body when I feel a "full" feeling even though it's been difficult. I make sure to eat more filling, protein foods to help my body understand what full means. I also increased my gym time. Working out is now something I enjoy doing.

I will continue my journey.

I want to make my emotional side better.

I want to make my physical body better.

I want to make me better.

Sept. 2011: Two years before working out; the heaviest I've been:

Oct 2013: After beginning my work outs at the gym (a couple of months in):